Have you ever set a goal, maybe at the start of the year, and then found yourself losing motivation a few weeks or months in? You’re not alone! Most of the time, it’s not because the goal was bad, but because we didn’t really connect with why we wanted to reach it in the first place.
When you understand why you want something, it becomes easier to stay on track—even when life gets hectic (as it always does!). This is especially true for busy midlife women like you. Your life is full of responsibilities, and staying motivated requires you to set goals that actually matter to you. Let’s talk about how redefining your why can help you stick to your goals and finally see results that last.
Why Redefining Your Why Matters
We often set goals based on what we think we should be doing. Maybe you’ve told yourself, “I should lose weight” or “I should exercise more.” But here’s the thing—goals based on “shoulds” rarely work out. They aren’t connected to what you truly want, and that makes it easy to give up when the going gets tough.
When you know your why, you’re more likely to keep pushing forward, even when you don’t feel like it. Your why is what drives you on those days when you’re tired, stressed, or simply don’t have the motivation. It’s your secret weapon.
3 Common Mistakes When Setting Goals
We’ve all been there—setting goals that don’t stick. Here are a few reasons why that happens:
External pressure: We feel like we need to follow what we see on social media or do what our friends are doing. But their lives and priorities aren’t the same as yours!
Unrealistic timelines: Trying to overhaul your life overnight is a recipe for burnout. Real change takes time.
Lack of personal connection: If a goal doesn’t come from you, it’s hard to stay committed. You need a goal that lights you up inside, not one that feels like another obligation.
The Power of Personal Motivation
Think about it like this: when you’re working toward a goal because you genuinely want it, it’s much easier to stay motivated. Compare that to doing something because someone else thinks you should—it just doesn’t have the same energy, right?
For example, let’s say your goal is to lose weight. If you’re doing it because you think that’s what you’re “supposed” to do, you’re going to struggle to stay on track. But if your real reason is that you want to feel more energetic so you can keep up with your kids or grandkids, suddenly the goal means a lot more.
When I turned 49, I set a goal to be in the best shape of my life. ( For the record, this was a very vague goal, and you can read more on goal setting here.) At the time it was purely about aesthetics, I wanted 6-pack abs and strong toned arms! Along the way though my motivation changed, I realized that it wasn’t about how I looked - I wanted to be strong and fit so that I could keep up with my grandbabies. I wanted to be able to run alongside them when they learn to ride their bikes, I wanted to be able to pick them up no matter how big they got. And in knowing that, the habits and choices I made everyday became something I wanted to do. It was easier to not let poor eating habits slide back in, and getting my workouts in became a regular part of my morning routine - something I didn’t even consider quitting. Knowing my intrinsic reason “why” is my most powerful motivator - even on my busiest days.
The 7 Layers Deep Exercise
This is where the fun (and a little digging) begins! There’s a simple exercise called “7 Layers Deep” that helps you uncover your true motivation. It’s basically asking yourself “why” over and over until you get to the root of what’s driving you.
Here’s how you do it:
Write down the goal you think you want. Maybe it’s “I want to get in shape.”
Ask yourself: “Why is this important to me?” Maybe your first answer is “I want to feel healthier.”
Then, ask yourself “Why?” again. Maybe the next answer is “Because I want more energy.”
Keep asking “Why?” after each answer. You might find that after 5 or 6 rounds, you get to something really powerful, like “I want to be able to play with my kids without feeling exhausted.”
Do this until you hit a reason that makes you feel something. That’s your real “why”. When you connect to that deeper motivation, sticking to your goal becomes so much easier because it’s about more than just numbers on a scale or fitting into a certain size—it’s about living your best life.
Applying Your Why to Daily Habits
Once you’ve found your why, it’s time to put it to work. Here are a few tips to help:
Keep your why front and center: Write it down where you can see it every day—on your phone, fridge, or even your bathroom mirror.
Break it down: Big goals can be overwhelming. Break them into smaller steps that you can tackle one day at a time. Each small win will get you closer to your bigger goal.
Remind yourself: On those tough days when you feel like giving up, remind yourself of your why. That’s when it’s most important to reconnect with the reason you started.
Why This Matters for Busy Midlife Women
As a busy woman, whether you’re juggling work, family, or both, it can feel like there’s no time for your own health goals. But here’s the truth—when your goals are connected to something that truly matters to you, they’re easier to prioritize.
Instead of feeling like just another item on your to-do list, your goals become something you want to do because they’re tied to how you want to feel and live. And when you set realistic goals that fit into your life, you can make steady progress without burning out.
Finding your “why” is the game-changer when it comes to setting and sticking to your health goals. It gives you that deep, personal connection that keeps you motivated—even on the tough days.
So, take some time to sit down, go through the 7 Layers Deep exercise, and redefine your goals based on your life, not what anyone else thinks you should do.
If you've given up on your goals in the past and you want this time to be different, having the support of a coach can not only help with overcoming setbacks, building consistency, and creating sustainable habits, but it can also help you feel empowered in your health journey. If you're curious about how I help women become healthier and happier despite being as busy as can be, click here to learn more about working with me.
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